Skip to main content

So it begins...

Being a sixty something author I was encouraged by my thirty-something son who's a producer, director, writer, etc. to write a book about what really goes on with women my age. After all, he said in not these words, you and your friends aren't over the hill. And it's true. I don't feel "old". Romance, sex, intimacy, friendship...they're all still very much a part of my life, my friends' lives. But with a twist. We've got grown kids, some of us have grand-kids, elderly parents. We've got health issues, fears, unfulfilled dreams and time is definitely more of an issue for us.  In short, we've got issues that weren't a factor in our lives before. When we lunch our conversations run the gamut of all these issues. But none of us are done with romance, sex, passion, fantasy. If you're in your sixties you know. If you haven't gotten there yet, you will find out...

So I spent the greater part of the past year writing this manuscript about six close friends who happen to live in my "neighborhood". It's called BETTER LATE. The double entendre is, naturally, deliberate. Now the characters in my book are fictional. But the feelings, desires, needs, fears, the things we share and don't share, are real. I'm a part of all these women. All my friends are parts of all these women. I wanted to capture universal issues and I wanted to share the intimate truths that bind women together. Friendship. It's a big deal at any age. Getting older makes getting closer easier for some of us, harder for others. I wanted to capture that. I wanted to create romantic vignettes for each of "my friends" that could happen, have happened, even wish would happen. Jessie goes to her 50th high school reunion to see the "boy" she had a secret crush on all through high school. Leah, a widow, goes on her first date since she was nineteen and got married. Deb is overcome by jealousy when her husband's long ago girlfriend contacts him from out of the blue. And so it goes. And so it has gone for many of us.

This is the start of my blog. I want to go beyond my book. I want to talk with all of you out there, women and men of any age about what it really means to enter that last quarter of our lives. I'm searching for ways to define who I am now, who my husband is, who we all are. I feel young and old sometimes at the same time. I picture myself one way then I look in the mirror and...Is that my mother looking back at me? I spend time with my grand-children and one minute I'm catapulted back to being a young mom with my kids, the next minute I'm thinking thank God I don't actually have to actually raise these wonderful, exuberant, exhausting children and how did I ever do it in the first place. So I'm old and young. I'm optimistic and pessimistic. I still have so much I want to do. I make plans, have dreams. I find myself veering away from people who've "gotten old". I adore my friends not only for their loyalty, my ease in confiding in them and they in me, our shared laughter and tears and fears, but also because every last one of them is still full of life.  I say better late and I mean it in both interpretations.

Writing a blog was something I've been wanting to do for a while now. It took some coaxing from friends and family to actually begin it but less than it would have a couple or more decades back. Maybe it's a combo of less to lose, more to gain. Maybe I'm finally old enough to take more risks.

I'll have to see how many risks I'm willing to take here. Those of you who join me here will have to see as well. And maybe some of you out there will take some risks as well, join me and share your thoughts, ideas, dreams, fears, whatever. I hope so. 


  1. I'm so glad you're doing this! Take risks!


  2. This sounds like a great journey! I'm not in my 50's or 60's yet feel the pull already. I look forward to your insights, stories and experience. It's so nice to hear a different perspective about the later years.
    Thanks for daring to share!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You can take the girl out of The Bronx, but...

Well, you know the rest. I have to confess for a long time I really tried to get rid of The Bronx. For a long time after that I thought I had. And for a long time I felt good about it. I'd escaped. No one could tell by my speech, my look, my style, etc. I used to love to hear, "You're from The Bronx? I'd never have guessed." And it's more than that. It's escaping a past that didn't fit in with my fantasy of who I wanted to become, who I wanted to be. It was an escape from a certain social class, an escape from parents whose customs, manners, interests felt alien to me - or maybe the truth was I wanted them to feel alien to me. I wanted to be my own creation!  But deep down I knew the truth. I knew it and it bothered me. I felt like there was really no escape. Not from The Bronx. Not from the lower income class that shaped me. Not from a mother who loved a bargain more than almost anything. And it bothered me. But lately something has changed. It&

When you come to a fork...can you take both paths?

It's been a while. That's because I've been standing at this stupid fork in the road trying to decide which path I should take. See, I've been a writer for over 25 years. Maybe it's thirty. And of course I'm still writing as this blog attests. But...this is a big and painful but...I haven't had a book published in "paper" form for several years. And not for want of trying. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, especially after years of happily "eating sweet success."Oh, a couple of publishers have put older books up as ebooks and I've put up a few I wasn't able to get published the traditional way. (My grown kids tell me I have to wake up to the reality that "the traditional way" is not today's way. And I'm having a hard time grappling with this reality). One of the joys of writing, for me, has always been the solitary nature of the work. Now, to be successful one big component is marketing myself. It's no

Let's get rid of the "pipe" in pipe dreams!

I have had dreams of doing any number of things all my life. Either I or others were quick to label them "pipe" dreams. "Pipe" as in foolish, impractical, ridiculous? A lot of people my age have come to realize that dreams are not the stuff of foolishness. The other day I got an email from a neighbor/friend from my old town who'd discovered my blog. She told me she had started a new "cottage" business of selling greeting cards with her amazing photos on them. Here's her site because you all really should check out these very original cards - It was a reminder to me that no matter our age, young, middle, older, oldest, we have the opportunity to dream new dreams, or capture old dreams and actualize them. We can stop identifying them as "pipe" dreams. I think many of us have spent a good portion of our adult lives  on being practical, cautious, and maybe feeling a little scared or a lot scared. Many of us stifled our cre