Skip to main content

If It rains...put on a raincoat

This morning before I opened my gmail I was a woman filled with optimism. Here's how I saw it. First, I was going to win the fantabulous giveaway apartment on the 35th floor of the W Hotel and Residences courtesy of HGTV's Urban Oasis contest. I entered at least twice. And when my husband pessimistically pointed out that even if I won it I'd have to be zillions in taxes and zillions in maintenance, and besides he didn't like the way it had been decorated and we wouldn't have the money to redecorate, did I let him rain on my parade? Absolutely not. I blithely pointed out that I had also entered the American Express Sweepstakes where first prize was one million dollars. I would use the mil to pay the taxes etc. etc. on my posh NYC getaway pad. Oh, and my agent was excited about my new manuscript and we were anticipating (well, that's an exaggeration) all great responses. I fantasized a major book deal, etc.

So, I was going to have a swank pad at the W, one million dollars from American Express, and before Oprah finished out her last season she'd have me on to talk about my bestselling book BETTER LATE.

Then I opened my gmail. And there was an email there that made me depressed before I even opened it. And then more depressed after I opened it. Two rejections.

A stab in my gut. A bout of nausea. Emails quickly sent out to the friends who'd helped edit the manuscript and who love me, my husband who felt so bad for me, my son and daughter. Words of support, love, keep your chin up talk.

Then it started raining. Perfect. I didn't have an umbrella. Or a raincoat. I didn't care. I felt miserable. I could hear that voice in my head - the voice we've all heard - the voice we've all tried to do battle with - the voice saying face it, you're just not good enough. Get ready for more rejections. Face it, you've either lost it or maybe never really had it. The voice went on and on. I'd give up writing. I'd climb into my p.j.s and just crawl under the covers. I'd eat whatever I wanted and just get fat. The only problem was I was too miserable to eat.

And it was the not eating bit that actually turned me around. I couldn't help seeing the bright side of being too depressed to eat. It would mean I'd lose weight. I wouldn't even have to struggle when the waitress brought the dessert menu. I wouldn't give a damn about dessert. And that made me start to brighten up. Maybe the sun would come out.

I can still win the apartment at the W (that looks out at the Statue of Liberty and the whole harbor). There's at least another month before the American Express drawing so I can still win that million bucks.

And there's still other publishers that haven't rejected me yet. As my daughter told me to keep up my spirits, it only takes one.

It's still raining but I've come in out of the storm physically and emotionally. I refuse to give up on my dreams and fantasies. It's dreams and fantasies, after all, that are the secret to the fountain of youth.

And, look. I'm not in my pajamas. I'm not crawling under the covers. I'm not going to kick my hopes and dreams into the gutter.

And, as is obvious, I am not going to stop writing!

You're all welcome to come to my open house at the W!

Comments

  1. well, that's my Elise!!! just shake off the rain and keep doing all the things that you do best...and that's a lot of things, by the by! as my mom said about men and buses: 'another one will soon come along.'

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Who invented thong undies and WHY???

Young women love them. I see so many of them wearing thong underwear. I "literally" see the thongs. Girls, do you know or care that when you're wearing jeans or any kind of low slung pants that when you bend over or even lean forward your thong strap shows? Maybe it's cool. Like having your bra straps show when you wear tank tops. One day a while back I was with my grown daughter (yes, she still wears thongs) and I was trying on a pair of pants. "God, mom, you can't wear those pants with those underpants. There's a line!!!" Now, I find this funny. It's bad to have the bottom lines of your panties show through your pants but it's apparently okay to have the waist band and the top of the thong part show when you lean forward. But, hey, my daughter was not going to give up on my need - yes, my need - for a pair of thongs. So, like all "obedient" mothers desirous of winning their daughter's approval I let her lead me to the underw...

Why are older women "cougars" and older men..."lucky"?

To set my family's minds at ease I'm not a "cougar". But...I just find it damn offensive that older women who are interested or involved with younger men get labeled. And you can argue that a cougar is not a derogatory term but why don't older men who are into younger women (take that as a double entendre if you like) have a label? Why do these guys get winks and slaps on the back from their pals? I think even younger men look up to them. They're probably thinking - hey, look what's out there waiting for me when I get "old".  Too many older women get dumped by their husbands who then take up with a younger model. I know, I know - you can call it a cliche but really it got to be a cliche because it does happen so often. And isn't it downright eerie that so often these older guys literally find a younger woman who looks so like their once young wives?  Is it sex? Do these older guys want hot young babes so they can have hotter sex lives? ...

Five bucks may not get you a latte but...

A while back my son decided to take one of my thrillers and do a clever video and create an ebook for it. He had to have a new cover made and when I saw it I was quite impressed. I assumed he knew someone in the biz who did it for him and didn't charge much because I knew at the time he didn't want to over-invest. Recently I decided to take 3 of my mysteries that were never published in the English language ( if you read German you can get them all! ) and put them up as ebooks on Amazon . I needed covers for all three. I called my son and asked him who did the cover for CHAIN REACTION and when he explained there was this site called Fiverr.com a whole new world opened for me. An amazing world of commerce and opportunity. OMG, what you can buy for five bucks! Not only an awesome ebook cover (check out the three I had done by a fantastic guy named Eddie-all for $15.) but  almost anything else you can imagine. Talk about a "freelance life" to harken back to my last entr...