Heart Beats

The plusses of being older don't spring to my mind without some effort which is why I'm focusing on the plusses first. This will be followed by the much easier task of listing the negatives. Here are my 10 top positives: 1. Senior price at the movies (which means you have to purchase the tickets for your under sixty friends. I draw the line at anyone under 50.) 2. At my gourmet grocer, Monday, Tues, and Wed. are Senior Days which means I get !0% off on my groceries. (I was pretty excited about this and actually asked for the discount one week before my 65th birthday. The boy behind the counter asked me for proof and it wasn't because he thought I looked way younger than 65 he was just a butt-head. And when he saw I had one week to go he actually refused to give me the discount. 3. Sticking with my grocery store theme, it's always a plus when the cashier actually does comment that  you look too young to be 65. Of course there are the times they don't say a wo...

This morning before I opened my gmail I was a woman filled with optimism. Here's how I saw it. First, I was going to win the fantabulous giveaway apartment on the 35th floor of the W Hotel and Residences courtesy of HGTV's Urban Oasis contest. I entered at least twice. And when my husband pessimistically pointed out that even if I won it I'd have to be zillions in taxes and zillions in maintenance, and besides he didn't like the way it had been decorated and we wouldn't have the money to redecorate, did I let him rain on my parade? Absolutely not. I blithely pointed out that I had also entered the American Express Sweepstakes where first prize was one million dollars. I would use the mil to pay the taxes etc. etc. on my posh NYC getaway pad. Oh, and my agent was excited about my new manuscript and we were anticipating (well, that's an exaggeration) all great responses. I fantasized a major book deal, etc. So, I was going to have a swank pad at the W, one milli...

My friends and I have had this discussion a number of times. What if...? We're superstitious so we don't want to verbalize actually losing our spouses. Instead we just say what if we found ourselves without them. What would we do? Eventually find another man? Well, who are we kidding? Older women have a hell of a lot harder time finding another man than men have finding another woman. And often enough it's another woman who's more likely than not "younger." But even if we could find another man... We all thought about it. Meeting another man. Dating. Living together. Maybe even remarrying. It was curious. It sounded hard. It didn't sound like fun. It sounded like work. And if we couldn't live with the one we loved, well, did we really want to live with someone new? Someone with different quirks? Different habits? Different, period? A few of us decided we'd rather live alone. A few of us decided we'd rather live with each other, live with our ...

So I was in a local bookstore (almost an acronym) yesterday and I was passing by the "Aging" section when a book title caught my eye. LIFE SUPPORT. Naturally I knew what the book was about but it got me thinking about my own concept of "life support." What and who do I need and want at this time in my life for support. It's not like I haven't always needed life support. Don't we all? But I don't think I gave it all that much conscious thought until now. I was busy with getting my career(s) off the ground, being a wife and a mom, getting together with friends. They were all important to me, they are all still important to me but now being older and having my support group all grow older, the relationships have changed, deepened, and have taken on greater value. I have to say my kids top the list. Don't get me wrong, I am far from slighting my husband who was been my rock, my support, my enduring love from the very start and continues to be all of ...

All of a sudden I'm "of an age". At least that's what people keep telling me. It usually goes along with some issue re: health problem. eg. My back is killing me, I'll tell a friend and she'll nod sagely and say, We're of an age, sweetie. Well, I had backaches in my 20's, 30's etc, etc. and no one said we're of an age. I suppose if I get a cold, a headache, a splinter in my toe now it'll be because I'm of an age. Now it may be true I'm of an age although the implications are depressing. But maybe it doesn't have to be. Can't I be of an age to be politically incorrect, maybe even socially incorrect? Can't I be of an age to do something wild (if I can come up with something wild)? I think I'm of an age to not go to functions I don't want to go to. I'm of an age to speak my mind. I'm of an age to be crabby, whine, act out if I feel like it. In short, if I'm of an age I want to get the most out of it ...

Okay, I know I'm not the only sixty-plus woman out there who's hooked on "American Idol." For one thing two of my girlfriends are equally hooked. But when we admit this to other friends we always make sure to add "we never vote." As one of my fellow addicts would say only the kids vote, mostly girls around the age of fourteen. I thought this was true. So, here's what I don't understand. A few days ago - this is even more embarrassing than being an Idol watcher - I went with a friend to see a Taylor Hicks concert about 45 minutes from home. I'm making a point about how close it was and you'll see why in a minute. For those who don't know Taylor Hicks, a guy, was the A.I. winner a few years back - I do sort of lose track but it has absolutely nothing to do with faulty memory (well, it does but I don't like to admit it). So my friend (who will remain nameless because I don't out my friends) and I get to this cute venue that holds ...

Okay, so today I go on Facebook and I glance over at the ads along the side and I see HELP WITH ALZHEIMER'S, WHAT TO DO ABOUT JOINT PAIN...I stopped there. Now I know that these ads are specifically geared to the person who's on their own site, so "they (probably some very young theys) know who I am, how old I am, and put ads up they think will be pertinent to me. And so let me tell you those ads are damn depressing and irritating. Okay sure I've had aches and pains, and like my real friends and my "friends" in BETTER LATE I admit the conversation of Alzheimer's does come up, but really I don't want to be pitched ads about this stuff. I felt so young and hip when I joined Facebook, so with it, I even joined Twitter and I'm blogging for godsake. Wake up you kids working at Facebook. I want YOUNG ads. I want ads about the latest designer wear even if I don't wear designer clothes. I want ads about hip bars and resorts. I'm on Facebook so I d...

When I hit sixty I really had to decide, purely related to vanity, had I reached an age where what the hellˆ I could let myself go...meaning eat, drink, be merry because let's face it time is getting shorter.. Or was I going to be one of those "seniors" who was going to keep myself in check, try to look good (good as in as thin as I could manage). I've switched positions endless times since then - when I'm in a stuff my face mood I think of Ginger Rogers (did you ever see photos of her when she was a "senior"?) Even the eternally beautiful Catherine DeNeuve has gotten a bit chunky. So what if I put on a few pounds and then a few more etc.? Then I get invited to some function and I have to go shopping. I don't care who it is, if you are or feel fat, shopping is excruciating. Even if I find something that fits it looks like ^%*% on me. When I meet my friends for lunch, we're all "watching what we eat". We're all always watching what ...

Being a sixty something author I was encouraged by my thirty-something son who's a producer, director, writer, etc. to write a book about what really goes on with women my age. After all, he said in not these words, you and your friends aren't over the hill. And it's true. I don't feel "old". Romance, sex, intimacy, friendship...they're all still very much a part of my life, my friends' lives. But with a twist. We've got grown kids, some of us have grand-kids, elderly parents. We've got health issues, fears, unfulfilled dreams and time is definitely more of an issue for us.  In short, we've got issues that weren't a factor in our lives before. When we lunch our conversations run the gamut of all these issues. But none of us are done with romance, sex, passion, fantasy. If you're in your sixties you know. If you haven't gotten there yet, you will find out... So I spent the greater part of the past year writing this manuscript a...