Skip to main content

Who's that strange woman in my mirror?

I'm not vain. Really, I'm not. Okay, I'm not totally devoid of vanity. But, honestly, I've never been one to scrutinize myself in the mirror. But I don't close my eyes when I'm brushing my teeth, putting on some make-up, combing my hair, etc. And when I'm getting out of the shower I catch a glimpse of myself in my full length mirror. I'm emphasizing glimpse because a glimpse is enough for me to say to myself "who the hell is that woman staring back at me in the mirror?" I swear I don't know her. And whoever she is, well, poor thing, she's really let herself go. I'm not going into detail. For my own sake as well as yours. Besides, I'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about. I'm guessing a lot of you have your own stranger living in your mirrors.

But let me move on to this stranger's face. What are those little brown spots? I'm pretty sure they're not freckles. And those eye lids. Sad how they are starting to droop. Then there are those lines at the corners of her mouth. Smile lines. Smile lines aren't a bad thing. Only these smile lines don't go away when she stops smiling. Worst of all, her neck. This woman's neck is so....so wrinkled. It's so...so old looking.

When I was little sometimes I'd make faces and my mother would always say, "if you keep doing that one day your face will freeze like that.

Oh God, what if it's finally happened? At least it didn't happen to me in "real life". But it has happened to that old woman looking at me in my mirror. And not only my mirror. She's lurking in very damn mirror I pass. Every storefront window. This woman keeps following me around.

I think that woman in the mirror is my very own Dorian Gray! The image gets older and older every day and it's getting so there are days I hardly recognize her. Good thing there aren't mirrors everywhere I go. And if I can just remember to avoid those surreptitious glances over at storefront windows I can lose her for long stretches of time. And then it's just me, at least the me that happily lives in my mind. The young woman with the "real" dirty blond hair, smooth skin with nary a brown dot, the smile lines that disappear when I get serious. And my neck. A nice, long, unwrinkled neck.

As for the aforementioned body in the mirror, granted I've given it only the scantest of looks, but I can affirm with certainty that is NOT by body. I know this for certain I tell you because I do not recognize that body in there at all.


I really think she'd be happier living in someone else's mirror. Anyone want her?????

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

You can take the girl out of The Bronx, but...

Well, you know the rest. I have to confess for a long time I really tried to get rid of The Bronx. For a long time after that I thought I had. And for a long time I felt good about it. I'd escaped. No one could tell by my speech, my look, my style, etc. I used to love to hear, "You're from The Bronx? I'd never have guessed." And it's more than that. It's escaping a past that didn't fit in with my fantasy of who I wanted to become, who I wanted to be. It was an escape from a certain social class, an escape from parents whose customs, manners, interests felt alien to me - or maybe the truth was I wanted them to feel alien to me. I wanted to be my own creation!  But deep down I knew the truth. I knew it and it bothered me. I felt like there was really no escape. Not from The Bronx. Not from the lower income class that shaped me. Not from a mother who loved a bargain more than almost anything. And it bothered me. But lately something has changed. It&

Thank God you can pick your friends!

My husband and I are about to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of very special friends. We met Ted and Deanna 36 years ago and we've stayed strongly connected through a number of moves (ours not theirs), illnesses, life's many ups and downs. We've shared sad times and joyous times. We've traveled together, spent wonderful visits at each others' homes. I'm sure we must have shared thousands of meals together. Thousands of laughs. They've always, ALWAYS been there for us and we have always tried to be there for them. History. We have a deep and meaningful shared history. J. and I are  truly blessed to have a wonderful group of close friends and we value them all. But there are very few couples I've known and loved longer than this very special couple. You can't pick your blood relatives but thank God you can pick your friends. From the very first time we all met, J and I picked them. We were couples with young families. We were in the first dec

Let's get rid of the "pipe" in pipe dreams!

I have had dreams of doing any number of things all my life. Either I or others were quick to label them "pipe" dreams. "Pipe" as in foolish, impractical, ridiculous? A lot of people my age have come to realize that dreams are not the stuff of foolishness. The other day I got an email from a neighbor/friend from my old town who'd discovered my blog. She told me she had started a new "cottage" business of selling greeting cards with her amazing photos on them. Here's her site because you all really should check out these very original cards - www.jgfischel.com It was a reminder to me that no matter our age, young, middle, older, oldest, we have the opportunity to dream new dreams, or capture old dreams and actualize them. We can stop identifying them as "pipe" dreams. I think many of us have spent a good portion of our adult lives  on being practical, cautious, and maybe feeling a little scared or a lot scared. Many of us stifled our cre