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It's a new world after all

I don't think my husband and I are the only ones. I'm talking about our relationships with our parents once we, the kids, were adults. I'm not going to get into individual issues here because I'm thinking of the whole not the parts. And the whole is that we never really viewed our parents as people. They started out and always remained our parents. We loved our parents, we saw our parents, we kept them up to date about general stuff but we didn't really have a relationship with them. An adult relationship. We didn't talk about real issues, emotions, concerns. I can't think of any of my friends back then doing it either.

I'm struck by the change I see in my relationship with my grown children. We do talk about real stuff. It's not that we don't respect each others' privacy and it's certainly not that we share everything. But there's not this sense of editing what we say or do. We're not wary or distrustful of each other. There's an openness that I, for one, never felt with my parents. And even my friends who tell me they felt close to their parents didn't have relationships with them that I see them having with their own grown children. It's just different.

I don't only adore my kids and their significant others, I feel a true adult connection to them. We relate. And I'm wondering if, maybe, we, the parents, are the first generation to experience this phenomenon. I'm not saying every parent my age is so blessed but I do see it happening all around me.

This connection, this give and take, this sense of comfort, the fun, the joy... I really do think it's a whole new world. And I love it.

So is this a whole new world for you? I'd love to know.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 12, 2010 at 10:13 PM

    Elise, you cintinue to amaze me with your prolific flow of ideas and life questions. I have had the same thoughts, questions, conversations with friends over the years, and what I come up with is this: we each find our way, do what we need to do, feel our own emotions...and whether or not they are the same as our friends' feelings, actions or quests,we receive friends' support, love and acceptance of us without judgment. wellk, maybe WITH judgment, but that's what friends are for.,.,,to help guide us while supporting who we are. on a light note, regarding what we'd do "if" we were alone--my friend Jane always says there's no way she wants to care for some wheezy old geezer....
    love reading your blog! you are awesome. LY, E2

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